I dreamt that my ex-tuition teacher taught me to play the keyboard.
OH MY GOD.
Why isn't this true?!?!?!
Updates:
New year count down at Aunt Wendy's. ALCOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!! BARCARDI AND BAILEY'S IRISH CREME, HERE I COME!! =D
MERRY XMAS!!!!!! =D
i love sharon! i love sharon, huilin, kailing, geraldine, ah neh n jeff!!!!!!! (the 4 girls and 1 and a half guys!)
=) serene.
yays.
RE: to Shurong
rules of the game:
1. post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself
2. at the end, list the names of 5 people who you want next to do this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" on their blogs, and tell them to read your blog for rules!
so here's 5 really, really weird/random stuff.
1. I have no armpit hair. You said RANDOM what?!
2. I have a nose piercing
3. I have 3 dimples which appear at different times. Not pimple lah!
4. I can roll my tongue into that stupid flower thing
5. My toes are in sequence. Like, longest to the shortest.
5 people are..
1. Huilin
2. Kailing
3. Sandy
4. Elson
5. Grace
Uhh. I feel a bit retarded doing this. But nevermind. Haha!
I'm back from surgery. Slept for a few hours just now and eyes are FREAKING swollen. Yeah. I have to wear shades at home so that I don't scare the shit out of myself.
Tan Tock Seng Hospital staff are really warm and friendly. And some of the doctors are SO handsome. Hahaha. More details next entry yeah? Don't wanna strain my eyes.
Guess I wasn't feeling too good these few days. Anyway, met up with Evelyn today. Felt so much better! If it wasn't getting late, I would have chatted with her for a few more hours. And thank you darling! I love your presents! It's on my bedside now (:
I guess my luck's been all used up. Saw a lizard crawling on the floor when I was having a shower. I tried to wash it away with water but it came towards me instead! Goddamn it, in the end I came up in my clothes wet.
Surgery's at 8.15 tomorrow. No food and water after 12 midnight all the way until a few hours after surgery. I'm dehydrating maaaaaaaaaaaan... Honestly speaking, I'm a little afraid of the surgery. What if I come out blind? What if I come out with crossed eyes? What if I just die inside? The doctor says it will be of a 80% success. Wtf? Not even 95%? Hur hur. Nah, I'm just kidding. Not that paranoid. I'm more afraid of crossed eyes though.
Christmas presents giveaway next year k? I'm into hybernation after tomorrow. Lol.
Fuck. I felt like crap. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. It's like, I don't think I'm appreciated by people. And that's sad. Seriously, I don't know why I'm feeling that way. Sometimes I feel that I'm too demanding with myself. And when I don't meet my expectations, I gets really dejected. But most of the times, I'm too easy with it. You know, skipping school and stuff. And there are even times when I get caught in between the both, I'm like tearing apart. The feeling sucks. I don't know what are my goals. `Cos even if I do, nobody really agrees with what I do. Fuck, I feel like I don't even have the choice to choose. I don't know what I'm living for, seriously. I don't know what's my worth. I don't know what I can do. I don't what I'm good at. You know, this kinda feeling makes me feel so diminished that I feel so dead inside.
I seldom write stuff like this in my blog. `Cos most of the time, this blog has already changed its purpose to entertaining people. It's not a diary anymore. Because I'm always the one people rush for comfort and stuff, I have to be strong. But no, I can't be strong at all times. (oh well, maybe...) There are times that I'll just fall and left maimed. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have the choice of lamenting about my life. Just because I'm me. I'm always smiling and laughing. I'm always cheering people up. I'm always so easy-going and optimistic. Fuck it, no. There WILL BE times when I'll just succumb to it.
And another reason that I'll never show how I truly feel is because, I don't want people to say that I'm gaining attention or seeking sympathy. The more you try to explain, the more they're convinced. I've met too many of such people.
My life is not exactly wonderful, it's considered good. Especially when this part of me come embracing every moment that made me smile, I'm happy. Sometimes I'm so easily contented. Sometimes I'll ask for more. I know that I'm not exactly leading a hard life, but when you look deeper into it, there's just more than what you can see.
ps: please don't bother tagging. that's not the point of this entry.
Okok, (:
Tired. Really tired. Fine, you can just say I'm plain lazy but I'm really trying to work hard these few days. I don't understand why Storyboarding could take up so much of our time especially when it's only 10%. Shit, I haven't even edited my video. I shall just "razor" up the video and rearrange the clips, do titling and subtitles tomorrow in class.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
I've been away for an hour and I'm 90% done with my editing! Haha! Maybe because my video is too simple that's why it's easier to edit. Hee hee. So tomorrow I just have to add in audio effects, subtitles and touch up a little.
Anyway, I've been reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaally happy recently. I'm still happy today! My dad accompany me to Tan Tock Seng today for my medical appointment. On the way, we've been talking quite a little, which is very, very rare. Really talking and not arguing at all. It's feels awkward if you're distant to your parents and when there are times you're "forced" to face them, you don't have anything to talk about. So I started off talking to him about school, family, my sisters and their husband/boyfriend. It's really good to know what my dad thinks about it as I never had the chance to do so. I feel happy for once that our conversation does not contain any ill feelings. He helped me to carry my laptop around, all the way until I reached school; because one: I'm too freaking careless and there is a 90.86347592654% that I might misplace it. Two: It's goddamn heavy. I felt like a little girl beside him, back to years before when I haven't develop any ill feelings towards him. My dad is ageing. And he's changing. He'd mellowed a lot these recent years and I feel that I should show more concern to him. I shouldn't even show any disdain to him, for goodness sake, he's my father. Come to think of it, I'm like fucking stupid. Why should I be irritated with him when all he wanted to do is to try to strike up a innocent conversation with me? People have different ways of doing things. It's doesn't mean that it's wrong just because you're not comfortable with it.
I'm also happy that I've been finishing assignments before datelines. Melissa and me have been slogging for Storyboarding these few days. But I felt that it's all worth it as we've really done our best in our work. Definitely no slip-shod work, and the more that you're tired from working, it means the more effort you've put in. Rejoice! Break will be much more appreciated after you've worked really hard =D
I've bought that foundation in Midnight Mauve. Diamente shades next! More YAYs (:
ps: Video-editing is actually quite easy. Hee hee hee!
Whenever I wanna say I'm beginning to like Java, something must happen to make me hate it over and over again.
RAAAAAAAARR.
PUI. I'm now totally disgusted by Java now. I can't fricking remember the codes and stuff. I'm just not programming material. Thankfully, I have a choice not to take Java again next year man.
HELP. How to input dialogs.. how to use loops.. how to use switch.. I totally forgotten all about it!
Random thoughts..
Shit. Impresario's tomorrow. I wanna back out... Not well prepared enough.
GRRR. Now JBuilder's screwed on me. Not that I don't wanna do it. I caaaaaaaaaaaaan't. It must have known I'm too stressed so it decided to screwed up on me.
Why the hell are some SP girls so fucking unhygenic. There's bound to be one cubicle with poo splattered all over EVERYTIME we go to the loo. Or lumps of shit stucked in the toiletbowl. CAN'T THEY FRICKING FLUSH?!?!?! They need toilet training.
I want to go for my surgery now and retreat for two weeks straight.................
Don't worry, Melissa. I LOVE YOU. Hahahaha. School is definitely better with me around. Lol lol.
I can't find the picture of the limited edition one. It's in a dark purple case with glitter. Comes with two refills and a make-up pouch and some funny vouchers I think. You can find them in Watsons. $25.90 now! So much worth the price. I was about to buy it that time but it's all sold out and only the dark shades are left. Now that I'm broke Watsons brought in more stocks. I just saw it at Lot1 today. Fucking conspiracy! RAAAAAAR. I use shade 21, by the way. Hee hee hee. 3) Za Shimmer Glimmer I have no idea why the heck I would need this for. But I see it beckoning "Buy me! Buy me!" OH MY GOD. 4) Shades from Topshop (Yahoo Auctions) I was searching Yahoo auctions for shades and I saw this. It's nice! That diamante heart is kinda cute. And the seller is selling it for 16 bucks. AHHHHHH. Should I buy? Should I? Should I? Maybe I should go check out Bugis Village instead. 5)Belts. I have no idea why I suddenly have the urge to buy belts. Probably because I dug out my old Levis and it's freaking loooooooooose. Either I'm obese in the past or that jeans have expanded. Or I've bought the wrong size. Hur hur hur. Woo! I love chunky belts (: 6)Hair Styling set. Tongs and straighteners and crimps. Ok, that's freaking expensive. 7) Samsung E730 There is so much things I wanna get/do this Christmas! Or rather new year. I wanna do something to my hair. Dye it, cut it, straighten... Loads. I'm just getting bored of it. Think I might dye it like this:
Nope, I'm not that thick-skinned to go gaggling on what I want people to give me for Christmas. It's rather a wishlist for myself to remind myself to get what I want `cos Iam always forgetting to buy things that I've been wanting to.
I have no Christmas this year! `Cos I'll be staying home recuperating and study for the mid-sem tests. That is pathetic `cos it means that I'm going to miss all the booze and fun at my auntie's house. Pardon me, but I'm such a alcoholic. How can I miss out Irish Creme this Christmas?! Maybe I should ask Mummy to "tah bao" for me. Hahaha. On the lighter note, I'll be 18 soon! Ya lah, soon as in 3 months later. Then I'll be able to buy my own alcohol. YAY! Oops.
Anyway, what I want for Christmas is....... Reserved means somebody says she's going to buy for me. Hahaha.
1) Massaging Rod. (reserved)
I badly need one `cos even though I give pretty good massages, er hem, I can't do it myself! And somehow or rather, it's so ticklish to get other people to massage for you. I rather get a massaging rod and whack myself crazy.
2) Za Two-way Foundation in Midnight Mauve. Limited Edition!
Niceeeeeeeee. And light. Melissa wants it too. =D Either give me a part-time job now, or give me a year to save. I'll save 50 bucks every month.
Or probably a shade darker. I've tried dying and highlighting my hair last year. And it's horrendous. The lians will probably mistake me as their new "jie muis" when I walked around in Lot1. NO. I'M NOT INTERESTED TO "CHUP". And if I ever do dyed it like this, I'll need to get eyebrow mascara to get it the similar shade. AHHHHHHHH. What a hassle. Hope I don't end up looking retarded like that girl. Nice hair , but weird expression?
Anyway, I have new resolutions for 2006! Will write 3 weeks later ok. It's tad too early to say about it now. Hahahaha.
I don't wanna listen to Jennifer. I rather go home and read up on my own.
RAAAAAAAAAAARs. BORED. Let me go home now......... -_________-;
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Why am I suddenly so busy?!?! Thought I'm gonna have an easier this week. NEVERMIND. After next Fri, I'm going to retreat into hybernation for a week. Then I'm going to start studying MST on the following week.
Anyway, Christmas wishlist next entry! Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Yay! I'm back from all the filming and stuff. It's really fun alright, but it's so exasperating being the director, especially handling actors like Hendy. He NG-ed 20 over times on tape and I guess more than 30 outof tape. LOL. I seriously don't understand what's so funny about the lines I've given him. Anyway, I still have to thank him for getting it out. THANK YOU LAH!
I helped Shurong in her video too. There wasn't really much NGs and it was pretty easy. Except for that scene which I had to bang into the wall after being chased by the perverse Yuxiang. Hahaha. Natural instincts stopped me from banging right in the wall so I had to redo the scene several times. But I could say that all these things are really fun.
Then we had our filming on the NorthEast line too. And we had to look out for the "Greeny Shits". Those SMRT officers were hanging around in the train, I had no idea why. Sometimes we had to take another train to avoid them as well. But all hard work's worth, `cos this is really a fun module. We experienced things that other people don't have the chance too. So yeah, I hope I'll do well in Storyboarding and DVID (:
Now in lab and recording room. Freaking bored. Free time until 1.45 `cos the lecturer has a meeting in during lesson. HUR HUR.
I think I almost died last night. Been staring at the ceiling whole night and I can't sleep until this morning. But I think I felt better today. My appetite's back and I peed more today! Means I'm out of dehydration already. Hahaha.
Well, it's been fun today. Had a little food in the morning and went to Lot1 with my eldest sis. She's so sweet to me today! We shopped around cos she wanted to buy accessories for her company's D&D tonight. Then she asked me if I wanted anything. Haha. So I got myself a pair of purple rose studs too (: After that she treated me to Yami Yoghurt too. Then I said I wanted that green Adidas watch for Christmas. Think it's a tad too much for Christmas so she agreed to buy for me on my birthday instead. YAY! I'm so so happy today! So, I told her she could get me a Eeyore handphone cushion from Mini Toons for Christmas. I like practical stuff for presents. Haha. But when we went up, we only see a handful of piglets and ONE pooh cushions. NO Eeyore at all! Then I told her she could buy me the pooh first and I went elsewhere to see if there's any Eeyore in other Mini Toons. Then I shall give that pooh to somebody. But come to think of it, it's rather weird. So I told her I shall keep the pooh for myself `cos it's something she bought for me. From her, FOR ME! So it doesn't matter whether it's pooh or eeyore or that weird piglet. After that we went to Watsons and saw that Eeyore bulu pen I wanted. I said she can buy for me to make up for the missing Eeyore. Hahaha. It's abeit bo liao but I'm HAPPY! I also helped her with her make-up today, and I'm quite satisfied with my masterpiece. =D
I've always thought of myself as a rather matured person. Perhaps it's due to the environment I'm born in. I'm sort of forced to become sensible. But come to think of it, how can be a impulsive person be matured? I do things according to my mood. Sometimes I even let my emotions take over me. I skip school when I'm lazy. I don't do homework. I don't study.
But I try to change a little recently. I try to curb my temper when I'm home. I try giving my mummy's massages. I try to listen to her. I try not to talk back. I try helping my sis to download songs, upload pictures and all the other technical stuff. I try to let her use the loo first. I even try to talk nicely to my father. I try to complain less when he smokes. I try not to give him dirty looks even if he did something I disagree with. I tried alot of stuff. And it surprised me that it wasn't that hard to do. It's just a moment of action. Think a bit more. It doesn't hurt you to do so. There's so much things we could do to make everyone's lives easier. And I guess it really, just take a little bit of effort.
I never told my mother that I love her before. It was the hardest thing to do. Believe me, you know it. But I did it that day! Someday when we were watching TV, there's this lady who says that she told her mum she loved her but her mum said she was disgusting. Then I suddenly turn my mum and say, "Don't say I'm disgusting k! I love you, Mummy. I'm scared that if I don't say it now, it might be too late again." She laughed it off. But I know she appreciated it. It's weird. But I'm so happy that I've said it out.
I heard somebody commented that the days spent with our families were actually so short. It's true. Let say you lived with your family for 30 years before you got married. 30 years of it, more than 15 years are spent in school. Most of the time when you are studying, you are with your friends. When you are having holidays, you want to go out with your friends again. How much time do you spend with your family actually? Then when you graduated, you go out to work. You'll probably reach home in the night and all you wanted to do is to sleep. How long do you see your parents a day? My sister reach home every night around 9 and she goes to sleep before 12. Minus half an hour of shower, half an hour of eating. She sees my parents for less than two hours a day. And if someday when she got married, I'll probably see her only a few times in a year.
It's scary. When you realised that the time you could spend with your family is getting lesser and lesser. Sometimes I felt so regretful that I've been such a wilful kid in the past. I hasn't really been close to my family. It feels awful when you realise your family are so far away from your heart. Friends are always on the top of my priority. Even my sister knows it. Until my sis wrote it in one of my testimonial, then it really hit me hard that family are the ones that are irreplaceable. It's true, friends come and go but she'll be the only one who will stay by my side no matter how detestful I'm. Erh....ok.
I don't know what I'm writing this for. But there's just something I need to get off my heart. Be nice to your family, lah k. It is actually not much to ask for and what we should do.
That explains why I'm happy today =D
Fuck man. I can't take it anymore. I seriously don't know how to do that fucking audio assignment. There is so much things I have yet to learn and that fucking lecturer don't wanna teach me! WTF? What are lessons for? The school hire you for fuck? Whatever we asked you, you tell us to do it ourselves. It's not as if we've never tried. The school pay you a few thousands bucks a month to ask you to remind us to use online help is it?
GRRRRRR. WHAT FUCKING SAMPLES DID YOU GAVE US? I CAN ONLY HEAR NOISES.
OMFG, I'm going crazy, yes this very moment. I want to bury myself alive. I can't change to the speed I want. I can't get the correct pitch I want. I can't change the pitch for that one segment only. THEN WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
I'm in deep shit now.. I'll take back my words. I won't take up midi next year unless I want myself dead.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I don't care. I'm going to sleep now. I need to see a doctor. I'm having symptoms of dehydration. LOSER! How can somebody have dehydration in Singapore. I don't care. I need to sleep. I'm getting breathless.
AHHHHHHHHHH. I'm listening to Linkin Park now. Hopefully can get some ideas. I love doing random posts now! Sometimes it may sound really retarded, but I don't care!
Anyway, a few things are going on this 2 weeks so I shall write it out in case anyone is trying to ask me out. Haha.
Thursday- DAUD assignment audio mosaic
Friday- Gems assignment Roleplay of arguments
Saturday- DVID Filming at Marina Bay, Yawen's place
By the, Elson, Victor and me have registered for Impresario 2006. Audition's next Friday and yes, I'm bent on singing pu tong peng you again, even if it sucks. I don't have time to prepare for any other songs now. Wish me luck man, I don't wanna get kicked out from the audition again. Haha. Guess this year ICT talentime contestants are pretty strong. I thought Shiyuan sings rather well but he got 3rd. Ah, expected him to get first initially, but well. I wonder who's the winner, I wanna hear him/her sing man.
Anyway, sometimes I hate blogging about my life `cos it sounds as if I'm talking to myself. Pretty retarded.
I need a new blogskin. I need new pictures for it... Heard that Fort Canning's not bad. Anywhere else? And I feel like taking neoprints. Hahaha.